I am having such a difficult time being optimistic right now. I keep thinking of all the reasons that things might be okay, and then I just give up. I have cried a million tears and am finding it very hard to have faith...even as small as a mustard seed.
I have felt sick today. At first I thought that was a good sign, but then all the other evidence today seems to just be mocking me upon each incident.
I am so disappointed in myself right now about my lack of faith. It seems to come so easy to me in any other aspect of my life... finances... decisions... but this....
Right now I am so thankful that we have shared our news and our situation with so many people. I don't know what I would do if I had to rely on my own prayers right now, because I don't even have words to utter.
GOD, I believe, but please help my unbelief!
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