Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Uuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

I am so miserably sick!  I am still not constantly puking, but still feel just as bad.  I never knew I could feel this close and near to puking and not actually do it!

I think the reason I haven't is because I have had some nausea medication from a friend that I have taken just in time each time I feel it is about to start.  But I only have one of those left.  I will need to take it today so I can stomach driving the kids to Woodstock and back for their classes.  Then.... who knows?

Friday, September 24, 2010

Settling In

I am having a difficult time settling in to the whole "being pregnant" thing.  I think I truly still can't believe it is happening!

I wanted to post a little bit about my impressions of the doctor's office I ended up choosing.  I actually chose one that I had not talked on the phone to or gotten references for. ha ha!
There are no midwives in the Calhoun area.  The nearest midwives are in Dalton.  And since I am determined to give birth at Gordon Hospital, I was limited on what I could do as far as doctor's go.  The deciding factor came with considering what was more important to me...the hospital or the doctor.  I decided that the hospital is more important to me.  I plan on being in control of what is going on and really the doctors don't do that much for you anyway in the big scheme of a birth.  It is mostly the nurses and facilities that become the biggest memory you love or hate.
Gordon Hospital is a faith centered facility.  They have Bible verses posted on their walls, are very supportive of prayer, and it just has a great feel when you walk in.  (I visited the other day).  Also, I looked at their nursery pages and they have maybe 15 babies born per month there.  Although that might make for bored nurses needing to be in your  business, I choose to believe it will be outweighed by the benefit of having not overworked nurses.
The choices  for OBs in Cahoun were two places.  A place that is a single female dr. practice, and a place with three doctors and a nurse practitioner, three out of four being female.  As much as having one single doctor see me the entire time sounds good, I did read one thing online about someone saying that she likes to schedule her patients on days that are convenient for her.  Which...obviously...would be an issue if you were the only doctor in an ob office. So....

I went with Calhoun Ob/Gyn Associates. The first time I called I was on hold for a bit and noticed that they play Christian music over their speakers.  The lady who made my appointment was very nice and when I called the VERY NEXT DAY to try and come in early because I was having bad symptoms, they saw me the same day!

I saw Dr.Joni Yamamoto.  She was very nice.  They were efficient.  I had a complete exam (they snuck that in because I hadn't had one in over a year! ha ha!) and an ultrasound and bloodwork.  I was leaving exactly an hour after my appointment time! I think that was pretty good!

Another plus about this office is that Dr. Yamamoto is also a general health physician so she can take care of anything else that goes on (colds, other issues) while I am there as well.

OH, and the office is GORGEOUS!  It feels like you are in a designer home rather than a doctor's office.  There are pictures on the website, but they still don't do it justice. The virtual tour shows a little more of the lobby area...just plain gorgeous!

I am happy with the office so far.  But anyone who knows me knows that I am subject to change my mind on that at any time! ha ha!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Completely Shocked!

I am completely and totally 100% shocked right now!  We went to the dr. today prepared for bad news again.  I had resigned myself to another miscarriage.  Even took down all the banners from my blog and unjoined all my babycenter groups.  And I got SURPRISED!

WE SAW A HEARTBEAT!

I am measuring at 7 weeks, 1 day.

The symptoms I am having are the "normal" kind.  Something I never had experienced of late.

I am completely grateful, completely blessed, and completed in awe of how our completely amazing God answers prayer.

Due Date: May 10th
Well....I guess making an appointment with the doctor messed me up.

It started last night.  I don't even know what to think.  But I know this has to be best.  When I told Katie the news, I stressed that we didn't know for sure and that God's plan is always best.  And I have to still believe that.

I will go on to the doctor because I will need a Rho-Gam shot.

I may try to go sooner though.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Doctor Appointment

I got the information I needed today to make my doctor's appointment.  

I am going October 4th, at 1:15pm.

It has made me a little nervous to actually have an appointment.  They've never gone well before.  But I think this one will.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Telling the Kids

I told the kids Thursday.  I had gotten really sick the night before, and was near death's door (ha ha, a slight exaggeration, but as close as I've felt recently anyway) on Thursday.  They were being less than helpful and starting to whine....a LOT.  Noah said he thought he was getting what I had.

So, I told them.  No, Noah, you AREN'T getting what Mommy's got.  You won't catch it from me.

I told them that I thought I was going to have a baby, and that's why I have been so sick.  But, we have to wait until we go to the doctor to know for sure, to make sure everything is good.  When someone is going to have a baby one of the things that sometimes happens is that the mom gets really sick at the beginning.

They have been complete and total angels ever since I told them.  Katie has been waiting on me hand and foot.  Frequently reminding me to be sure and go to the bathroom if I am going to throw up.  Noah has been crafting things for the baby...a toy mobile for the crib Katie made for the bedroom out of her My Twinn box.

They stopped fighting.  And now I can refuse to make microwave popcorn with a satisfying explanation (it makes Mommy think she's going to throw up) and I'm not just the mean Mommy who doesn't want to do anything. ha ha.

Katie was stressing about getting everything ready.  I told her it would be a long time if everything goes okay, it would be May.  I got on the babycenter website and showed them some pictures of the developing baby throughout and why it takes so long.  She was slightly fascinated and Noah just thought it was weird.

So there you go.  Of course, it made me have a slight panic attack about telling them, that I would be even more sad now if things don't work out...for their sake.

We told them about the pregnancy the first time, and they were pretty sad about the loss.  They even mentioned it when August came around.  Noah told me that he wished we could have had our baby.  And Katie mentioned.."I thought we were going to have a baby in August."

We didn't tell them about the second miscarriage.  It happened at a time that they were pretty busy with the church musical practices and we weren't having to do school each day.  Plus, Corey was coming home and that helped cover me with any sickness.  Corey has been out of town since last Sunday, and the sickness has hit me hard this week while he has been gone, so it was harder to do it all and cover the fact that I felt like dirt.

I expressed the need to be cautious, and that we would tell "everyone" after we check on the baby at the doctor.

I think it was a good decision.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Ole! Babay!

I had very "stereotypical" cravings when I was pregnant with Katie and Noah.  I wanted sugar ALL THE TIME with Katie.  I ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...(it was my last meal right before I went to the hospital with her), Lucky Charms by the box...birthday cake...chocolate...anything.

With Noah, I wanted Mexican food.  Not "good" Mexican food....bean burritos from Taco Bell.

I threw up my bland baked potato this week, but have relished black beans with tortillas twice and just now had take out Mexican food from our local restaurant.  Feeling on the edge of puking right before eating it...it was like medicine for my tummy! ha ha!

Last night I also felt on the verge of sickness, but greatly enjoyed an Outback special steak, fries, and bloomin' onion.

So...I guess if someone MADE me guess a gender...I would have to guess boy. :)

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

ON!

Mark it down.  First REAL sickness this evening. After dinner.


Thankful that it was baked potato night. ;)

Off and On

It seems that the "like clockwork" afternoon evening sickness only lasted a couple of days.  Then, I had a day when it wasn't so bad.  Now...it's coming and going all hours.
According to the calculators I am 6 weeks, but I am pretty sure it's 7.  In the next 3-4 weeks the sickness should hit the all time high, so I am really hoping it doesn't get tremendously worse, and if it does, that is only stays for that allotted amount of time.  I would really love to enjoy some GOOD EATS come holiday time...with no hiding the pooch!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Sickness

Afternoon/Evening sickness has set in. It started Friday night. I felt awful all night.
Then, Saturday, I was okay during the day, even had less symptoms waking up, but then at about 4:00pm until 6:30pm I felt HORRIBLE. As in, I ran to the toilet thinking I was going to throw up but didn't. Then off and on really bad the rest of the evening.
Yesterday, around 3:30pm, it hit me hard. I was shaking, feeling extremely nauseated, didn't even feel like moving. I never threw up but wished that I could. At around 6:30pm it suddenly lifted and I felt fine for dinner. Well...I felt good for making waffles..a mild and easy dinner.
Today, I am preparing to not feel well at dinner time. I will be at Bible study, the first night, so I hope I can make it okay. Praying that this isn't the night that the puke actually makes an appearance. I cooked a meal for lunch in preparation for a very light dinner for the kids since we won't be home and I am pretty sure I won't feel like cooking anything anyway.
I would love to spend a Saturday making freezer meals for the upcoming weeks. Or, I could cook several nights meals for the week and put them in the fridge.
It's so weird because yesterday, and today, I woke up a little nauseated, but ate breakfast and then felt really great. I don't even feel pregnant at all. A little worry hit me like, "I hope everything is still okay!"
Then...the afternoon comes... like a ton of bricks...and yeah...now THAT'S what I remember "pregnant" feeling like ha ha. I won't complain though. No food has come back up yet, and I can still eat and get school work and housework done in the mornings.

I hope that the sickness means that everything is healthy with the baby!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Postings 9/11/10

I have been writing posts over the past week, but not publishing them until I knew that everyone who would read the blog and "needed to know" knew beforehand.

I dated them so you can read back and see what's been going on here in baby blog world. It is an exciting, yet nervous time for me.

It is completely unfair what having a miscarriage (or two) does for your confidence in a new pregnancy. I am constantly arguing against my hopeful thoughts with disclaimers of "we'll see" and I find myself really overreacting to very minor symptoms. Things that if a miscarriage had never happened would be totally FINE.

But, I am forever changed, and I can't help that. I just stay in prayer that I can be patient and trusting.

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I may regret saying this later... but I THINK I wish that I would start throwing up. It's supposed to be a good sign. :)

Feeling Weird 9/11/10

September 11, 2010

I got up feeling different today. Some symptoms were completely gone, while others had appeared in its place.

I came the very closest to actually throwing up that I have so far.

Still trying to remain hopeful. I will be relieved when we can get our paperwork all sorted out and I can go to the doctor. It will be time by then to be able to see something. I truly hope we see something this time around!!!!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

THANK YOU LORD! 9/8/10

September 8, 2010

The insurance situation is WORKED OUT above and beyond in our favor and I am thankful thankful THANKFUL!!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Oh, wow. 9/7/10

September 7, 2010

I am feeling....very sick.

I have had feelings of nausea. When I would start getting hungry. Then it would go away.

Then it started to be indigestion after dinner.

Yesterday and today I have been feeling immediately worse after eating, and having bad indigestion regardless of the type of food.

And now.... tonight. It is even worse. I feel very near to throwing up.

On the plus side: This is encouraging me that this could be a healthy pregnancy.

On the downside: IT STINKS TO FEEL SICK! AGH! ha ha ha!

Thank you Lord, for this baby. Thank you Lord, for assurance of its health via sickness. Thank you Lord, for stuff that will hopefully make me feel better when and if I figure out what that is!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Hope 9/5/10

September 5th, 2010

Here we are with that word again. A got a message on facebook today from my neighbor, who is a Bradley instructor. She said that she was contacted by someone who is due in April, and combined with me she will be definitely starting a course of Bradley classes about the time that would be perfect for us to participate! Taking Bradley classes, and preparing for a natural childbirth is something I really wanted to do something this time around. I was hoping it would be convenient with her class schedule.

It looks like this might be working out well this time around. I am feeling great, other than the slight cramping, no other worrisome symptoms. I know it has only been a few days, but every single day that goes by with nothing bad happening, is amazing to me. It's crazy how the experiences I've had has completely and totally changed my outlook on pregnancy. I never worried about my pregnancy with Katie and Noah...not the ultrasounds, nothing.

I truly know where my strength comes from. Since I know the joy and pain from both possible outcomes, I know I will survive and be okay regardless. But I can't help becoming more, and more, and more hopeful every day.

I keep having bad dreams when I sleep. I dream that I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and start miscarrying. I dream that I am at the doctor getting bad test results. They aren't waking me up or anything, but it is GREAT to wake up and realize that it was just a bad dream.

Another symptom that I guess must be pregnancy related: I have been an early bird the past few mornings. Waking up at 6am, not able to go back to sleep. I gave up this morning, and when I woke up just went ahead and got up. I guess I should just be up and productive rather than lying in the bed being miserable at trying to go back to sleep.

That's my daily update. I guess I will check in again after a few days.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Positive 9/4/10

September 4th, 2010

I don't know when I will post this, but I do want to go ahead and get my thoughts out there.

September 1, I got a positive on a home pregnancy test. The reason I took the test was because I was cramping and wanted to take my fav. pain reliever: Aleve! Well, you can't take Aleve when you are pregnant, so I wanted to go ahead and take a test so I could take some medicine.

Lo and behold..it was positive. A very faint positive.

The next morning I took another one. Again: positive.

We canceled my insurance with Kaiser to be effective this month. Wouldn't you know?

I knew Corey would be extremely stressed out because of it, so I didn't tell him right away. He had also had a stressful few days at work as well.

I was feeling.....weird. Not stressed. Not sick. Just extremely tired, crampy, and weird because I was feeling weird. I can't explain it.

The due date would be May 11th, Corey's birthday.

I finally told him yesterday. On the phone while he was at work. He was stressed at first, like I figured he would be, but after talking a while we both seemed a little better off. I cried while I was talking to him, I think because I had not let myself really react yet.

My immediate feelings were, "Well, we'll see."

I know God has seen me to this point, and through this point, and He will continue to see me through. I am hopeful.

I feel fine, just tired. The cramps come and go, but there have been no symptoms like I had before when I was at this point. Other than that though, I actually have less pregnancy symptoms than I had the other times. I am getting some indigestion easily. But really the main symptom is complete exhaustion...wanting to sleep 2-3 times during the day.

We told our mothers, and a few close friends. We will wait a while to tell anyone else.

Friday night I took another test. This time I stopped at Walmart and picked up one of the digital "yes or no" tests. I had never used one of them. I was always squinting and comparing and looking for the second pink line.

It takes a little longer for the digital answer to show,but when it did, my heart skipped a beat. There is nothing like a clear "Yes+" showing up to give you a real boost of happiness/hope/trepidation/fear/excitement.

I don't plan on going to the doctor at least until I've made it through next month. I have also contacted Gordon Hospital to see if they offer discounts to prepay cash patient. Pray for us on that aspect. From what I've read, it can actually cost about the same to be a cash patient or an insurance patient, barring no complications.

So many things to consider. Right now, I am trying to not make too many plans, but it is hard. I am still in disbelief, but trying to hope and believe.