Friday, June 11, 2010

A Perfect Day

Deuteronomy 32:4
He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just.
A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.

Unlikely title for a post right now, huh? Well, yesterday, God's way was known in my life. Before I even got out of bed I had an email with a link to a post, a post that really spoke to me and our situation. My heart was so heavy and sad.

Then, I called my neighbor whom I hadn't spoken to in a few days. She is so wise and comforting. She is more wise than anyone "our" age has a right to be! ha ha. But, her talk encouraged me to just blindly trust in our situation. To embrace the fact that God is drawing me nearer to Him and is building a testimony. To not give up the words I have been given and the desires of my heart. To just tell God how I'm feeling because He already knows.

Sometimes the things we know are overwhelmed by the feelings and emotions of the moment.

I spent some time in prayer and crying. Then I got an encouraging comment from the writer of that post I had been given. Her words were comforting as well. I felt so at peace with our situation and the future. Comfortable and at peace with letting go of trying to figure everything out and know His plan.

Then, in the early afternoon, we got a definite answer. I spent four hours of the late afternoon/evening in deep physical pain, cramping, all that comes along with having a miscarriage.

One of my prayers was that if this wasn't going to happen for us this time, that it happen naturally at home. And God answered that prayer for me. Not only did He answer that prayer, but He orchestrated an entire morning devoted to the restoration of my soul and mind, so that when the time came I was as ready as I could be for something like that to happen.

It still made me cry. It still hurt and by no means was it a pleasant experience. It still isn't even completely over. But I believe the worst is behind me.

Had I entered that physical stage of this tragedy in the state of mind I was in when I woke up, then my evening would have been a much worse time, I know that.

I am trusting and believing. I don't know the future, but I really don't have to. And that is a freeing thought. I don't have to plan it all the time. I don't have to know what His plan is or ask for it to be revealed. Because I know eventually, it will.

Whatever happens, even a miscarriage....can happen in a good way. I had a perfect day today. Not perfectly happy, but perfect. A "right" day. Because it happened the way He ordained even before I was ever born. I trust that it was perfect. Because He is the Rock and
His ways are perfect.


4 comments:

Cherie Hill said...

Sister...your words so beautiful...your heart so filled with God's spirit...your strength is so far beyond what mine was during my miscarriages. I did not walk with the Lord during that time...but it turned me to Him...I'd say, for that, looking back, it was worth it...and if that loss and pain caused me to seek God...then it was worth it. I have two brilliant, beautiful boys who have hearts filled with God's love...God knows what He's doing. Although we can't understand Him...He proves time and time again-We can trust Him. (We can trust in His love, mercy, and grace at all times...in all things.) Praying for you in EVERY way,
Cherie

Cherie Hill said...

Sister...your words so beautiful...your heart so filled with God's spirit...your strength is so far beyond what mine was during my miscarriages. I did not walk with the Lord during that time...but it turned me to Him...I'd say, for that, looking back, it was worth it...and if that loss and pain caused me to seek God...then it was worth it. I have two brilliant, beautiful boys who have hearts filled with God's love...God knows what He's doing. Although we can't understand Him...He proves time and time again-We can trust Him. (We can trust in His love, mercy, and grace at all times...in all things.) Praying for you in EVERY way,
Cherie

Karen said...

So glad you had this perfect day...I love you!

Kellie Paige said...

I'm praying for you, Carrie!