It seems that everything is pretty much over with this miscarriage, physically. I have to say that I already feel better emotionally than I have in a very long time. I think it is because I feel that I have so much closure now...so much complete trust and faith.
I have learned, even more than before, that we should not try and be in control of planning things for ourselves. Maybe we all have things mixed up...where we try and plan the "big" moments of our lives, like marriage, babies, jobs, moves...when really those most important things are the very things we should not try to be in control of at all.
I don't mean that you should just leave your life to chance or not put any thought into them. But the control and planning over them... the people who have every "big" thing in their life planned...
God doesn't give us control over those things. He gives us power over the little things... what clothes to wear, what movie to see. Perhaps where to go on vacation, or what book to read next. But the big things... babies... those things, as much as we like to think we are in control... we really aren't. And as much as we think we have complete power to control the big decisions...I've come to realize that the best place for those decisions is in a place completely and totally out of my reach and influence. I don't want control over where I am going to live, or where I am going to work or when and if I will have more children. I am leaving all of those things completely up to God. His has a way of letting his will be known, if we just let it.
This isn't to say that I won't be actively participating or seeking His plan. But it does mean that whatever happens I will give thanks that I know it is His will if I am willing and praying for that in our lives. And we are.
I believe that God gives us wisdom to make choices. But, I have come to trust that I don't always know what the right choice is going to be until the moment comes. A goal of mine is to not worry about tomorrow...or next month, or next year. I will take each minute, hour, and day as it comes, trusting that wisdom will be given when I need it. Along with grace, I believe God gives wisdom freely and perfectly, to complete His plan for us.
It is our human nature to try and plan everything. But not everything matters. Only the big things. So don't "sweat the small stuff" because if its important enough, He won't let us sweat it out too long anyway. :)