Friday, May 21, 2010

Hope

Hope

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

-Emily Dickinson


My hcg only increased by 441. Nowhere near doubling. Various things online say that at 1000-2000 it could take 72-96 hours to double, but I know the general rule is 48 hours. The doctor did not call tonight.... so I'm not sure what that means. Either they aren't worried or my case got temporarily lost because my original doctor was going on vacation. I trying to stay hopeful, but I can't help but give up in a way. I also started cramping and spotting a little bit more this afternoon. I got up feeling energized this morning and did a lot of cleaning... and then spent the rest of the day completely stressed out...so maybe that's what is behind that.

I am not giving up completely. I never got my hcg levels checked at all before...and just went in at 8 weeks or so for my check up. We never even saw Katie on an ultrasound till the normal 20 week check.

I guess if I don't hear from the doctor and don't have any more worrisome symptoms I'll just wait..... and hope.

2 comments:

Andy's Bethy said...

I think I needed that poem too. Thanks for sharing. You will never know how very grateful I am to have you in my life Carrie.
One breath at a time, okay.

Karen said...

That poem is beautiful...I love how it says hope "never stops"....