Saturday, November 21, 2009

A New Journey

This week marks the first week of a new journey in our family. A journey toward hopefully becoming a "party of five!"

What brought us to this place?

I have always felt that we would have more children after Katie and Noah. Neither of them were "planned" pregnancies, though we wouldn't change anything about that now... I just feel like our family is incomplete. We never had the opportunity to make the choice and plan for our babies... I want that.

I want to be excited about finding out. Not that we weren't excited about Katie and/or Noah..eventually. ha! But, to be anticipating and planning...

We have both prayed over this decision. I felt very strongly that it was supposed to happen. Several hormonal options had greatly disagreed with me. It was completely messing up several aspects of our marriage! lol. I just felt like we were being turned away from one prevention method after another.

One night at church I was sitting in a women's Bible study. It was time to take my pill and I was feeling so sick and having headaches from it. I wanted to ignore my reminder about taking it because it made me so miserable. I also wanted to get pregnant but Corey was not in agreement with me yet. I could never be one of those people who tricked their husbands about anyway...

I got up and went out and took it and was just silently praying in my head about the entire situation.
When I came back in, we finished class and the leader started the dismissal prayer.
One of the things she said during her prayer was what I knew was a message from God to me.
It was..."Lord,...we are placing ALL of our eggs in your basket...because we KNOW that is the safest place they could ever be......."

I know that probably sounds like a crazy person talking...but when she said those words I jerked my head up because it may as well have been God sitting there talking directly to me. As vague as it could have been construed, when God is talking to just KNOW.

That night I knew I had to do something differently.

Long story short....we made the first step which was looking at insurance options. At the time our insurance was very iffy.... $5000 in deductibles then we would be responsible for 20% after that...which could come out to be who knows how much?! I was heartbroken because it would be so expensive and we aren't rich by any means.
We had looked for insurance before without much luck but this time, after one phone call with an insurance agent, we had found insurance that covered pregnancy. $3000 in deductibles then 100% coverage!

AND NO WAITING PERIOD which is completely unheard of!

Well....we made it through the transition month to that insurance back in July and have since just been waiting on good timing....and for Corey to be at peace :)
Through much prayer and discussion together, we feel that the time is now right.

And wow....if nothing else.. we feel like Katie and Noah would both benefit tremendously from the experience of having a baby around the house. I know Katie would mother and love the baby to pieces, and Noah would be right on top of taking care and watching out for him/her.

For now, we are just waiting to see what happens. I am truly at peace no matter how it goes...even just not stressing about the prevention of it is a huge burden off the two of us. I had no idea how much energy and stress were devoted solely toward that purpose until it has been lifted!

Why start this blog today?

I have started this blog today because I want to keep track of the entire journey. From week one.

I am not showing this blog on my profile or publishing it on any of the blogger sites. For now, it will only be for me and maybe a few select friends. And, if God does bless us and the timing is right, then I want to record every feeling and event...the good, the bad, and the ugly! ha ha! So, if you are reading this blog, be prepared! I will be sharing it ALL!

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